Thursday, March 19, 2009

Tree . Leaf . Wind

Original Article by: Unknown
Translated by: Unknown

Moi Notes:
Very simple yet thought provoking love story. The original was in Chinese.


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English Version
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Tree . Leaf . Wind

Tree

The reason I'm called tree is because I'm good at painting trees. Overtime I start to use a tree on the right hand corner as a trademark for all my watercolors painting. I have dated 5 gals when I was in Pre-U. There's one gal who I love a lot but never dare go after her. She doesn't have a pretty face, doesn't have a good figure, doesn't have outstanding charm. She is just a very ordinary gal.

I like her. I really like her. Like her innocent, like her frankness. Like her cuteness, like her intelligence and her fragility. Reason for not going after her is because I felt somebody so ordinary like her is not a good match for me. I'm also afraid that after we are together all the good feelings will vanish. I'm also afraid other's gossips will hurt her. I felt that if she's my gal, she will be mine ultimately & I don't have to give up everything just for her. The last reason, made her accompany me for 3 years. She watch me chase after gals, and I have make her heart cry for 3 years.

She wants to be a good actress and I'm a very demanding director. When I kissed my 2nd girlfriend, she bumped into us. She was embarrassed but smile & say "Go on!" before running off. The next day, her eyes was swollen like a walnut. I purposely didn't want to think about what causes her to cry but laugh at her the whole day. When everybody go back home, she was alone crying in the classroom. She didn't know that I returned from soccer training to get something. I watch her cry for an hour or so.

My 4th girlfriend didn't like her. There was once when both of them quarreled. I know that based on her character she's not the type that will start off the quarrel. But I still sided with my girlfriend. I shouted at her and her eyes was filled shocked. I didn't care about her feelings and walked off with my girlfriend. The next day, she still laugh & joke with me like nothing has ever happened. I know that she's very hurt but she didn't know that my heart ache is as bad as hers.

When I broke up with my 5th girlfriend, I asked her out. After going out for a day, I told her that I have something to tell her. She told me that coincidentally, she has something to tell me too. I told her about my break up and she told me about her getting together. I know whose the guy. He has been going after her for quite a while. A very cute guy full of energy, lively and interesting. His pursuit for her has been the talk of the school.

I can't show her my heart ache but could only smile & congratulate her. When I reach home, the heart ache is so strong that I can't stand it. It's like a heavy weighted stone on my chest. I couldn't breath. Wanted to shout but can't. Tears rolled down & I broke down & cry. How many times have I seen her cry for the man that doesn't acknowledge her presence too.

During graduation, I read a sms in my hp. It was send 10 days ago when I broke down and cry. I haven't read it since then. It says "Leaf departure is because of Wind pursuit. Or because Tree didn't ask her to stay"

Leaf

During Pre-U days, I like to collect leaves. Why? Because I felt that for a leaf to leave the tree she has been relying on for so long it takes a lot of courage. During the 3 years of Pre-U I was on very close terms with a guy. Not BGR kind but as buddy kind. But when he had his 1st girlfriend, I learnt a feeling I never should have learnt - Jealousy. The sourness in the heart can't be describe by using a lemon. It's like 100 rotten sour lemon. Sourness to the extreme limit. They were only together for 2 mths. When they broke up, I hide my strong sense of happiness. But after a mth, he got together with another gal.

I like him & I know he like me. But why won't he pursue me? Since he love me why he doesn't want to make the first move? Whenever he had a new girlfriend, my heart would hurt. Time after time, my heart was hurt. I begin to suspect that this is a one sided love. If he don't like he, why does he treat me so well. It's beyond what you will normally do for a friend. Liking a person is very heart wrenching. I can know his likes, his habits. But his feelings towards me I can never figure out. You can't expect me a gal to ask him right?

Despite that, I still want to be by his side. Care for him, accompany him, love him. Hoping that one fine day, he will come & love me. It's like waiting for his phone call every night, wanting him to send me sms. I know that no matter how busy he is, he will make time for me. Because of this, I waited for him. The 3 years were the hardest to go through & I really want to give up. Sometimes, I wonder should I continue waiting. The pain and hurt, the dilemma accompany me for 3 years.

Till the end of my 3rd year, a 2nd year junior begins to go after me. Everyday he pursuit me relentlessly. From outright rejection to a point in time when I felt that I'm willing to let him have a small footing in my heart. He's like a warm & gentle wind, trying to blow a leaf away from the tree. In the end, I realized that I didn't want to give this wind a small footing in my heart. I know this wind will bring this badly battered leave far away & better land. Finally I left tree, but the tree only smile & didn't ask me to stay. Leaf departure is because of Wind pursuit. Or because Tree didn't ask her to stay


Wind

Because I like a gal called leaf. Because she's so dependent on tree so I have to be a gust wind. A wind that will blow her away. When I first met her, it was 1 mth after I transfer to the new school. I saw a petite person looking at my seniors & me playing soccer. During ECA time, she will always be sitting there. Be it alone or with her friends looking at him. When he talks with gals there's jealousy in her eyes. When he looked at her, there's a smile in her eyes. Looking at her became my habit. Just like she likes to look at him.

One day, she didn't appear. I felt something amissed. I can't explain the feeling except it's a kind of uneasiness. The senior was also not there as well. I went to their classroom, hid outside and saw my senior scolding her. Tears were in her eyes while he left. The next day, I saw her at her usual place, looking at him. I walked over and smiled to her. Took out a note & gave to her. She was surprised. She looked at me, smiled & accept the note. The next day, she appeared & pass me a note and left.

Leaf's heart is too heavy and wind couldn't blow her away

It's not that leaf heart is too heavy. It because leaf never want to leave tree

I replied her note with this statement and slowly she started to talk to me & accept my presents & phone calls. I know that the person she loves is not me. But I have this perseverance that one day I will make her like me. Within 4 mths, I have declared my love for her no less than 20 times. Every time, she will divert away from the topic. But I never give up. If I decide I want her to be mine, I will definitely use all means to win her over. I can't remember how many times I have declared my love to her. Although I know she will try to divert but I still bear a small ray of hope. Hoping that she will agree to me my girlfriend. I didn't hear any reply from her over the phone. I asked "what are you doing? How come you didn't want to reply?" She said, "I'm nodding my head". "Ah?" I couldn't believe my ears. "I'm nodding my head" She replied loudly. I hang up the phone, quickly changed and took a taxi and rush to her place & press her door bell. During the moment when she opens the door. I hugged her tightly.

Leaf departure is because of Wind pursuit. Or because Tree didn't ask her to stay.


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Original Version
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树·叶子·风

叶子的离开,是因为风的追求,还是树的不挽留

树的告白:

会叫树的原因,是因为我擅长画水彩画,最爱画树,久而久之,我的画作右下方索性以一棵树来代表我。

高中三年交过五个女朋友,有一个女孩子,我很爱她,却迟迟不敢追,她没有美丽的面孔,没有姣好的身材,没有撩人的魅力,一个再平凡不过的女孩子。我喜欢她,真的真的很喜欢她,喜欢她的单纯,她的直率,她的可爱,她的智障,她的脆弱。

不追她的原因,也许是潜意识觉得平凡如她配不上我;也许是因为怕在一起后,一切的好感都会消失;也许是怕外人的指指点点伤害了她;也许是觉得,她会是我的,不用急着为了她而放弃一切。

最后这个原因,让她陪了我三年,让她看着我和别的女孩子厮混了三年,让她心痛了三年。

她很想当一个好演员,但我却像一个严苛的导演。我和第二个女朋友在厕所接吻,被她撞见,她尴尬的笑笑说:“Go on!”然后跑掉,第二天,她眼睛肿得跟核桃一样,我故意不去猜想是谁让她哭成这样,嘲笑了她一天,她在所有人都回家后,在教室哭了起来,她不知道练球回来拿东西的我,看了她一个多小时。我的第四个女朋友,一直很不喜欢她,有次她们两个吵了起来,我知道依她的个性不会去惹事,但我还是护着女朋友,她被我吼了一下后,愣住,眼泪滑了下来,我无视她的眼泪,陪女友走出教室,第二天,她依旧嘻嘻哈哈的和我开玩笑,我知道她很难过,但她不会知道我的心不比她好受。

当我和第五个女朋友分手时,我约她出去玩,玩了一天,我对她说:“我有事要对你说。”她说:“真巧,我也有事要对你说。”“我和她分手了。”“我和他在一起了。”我知道“他”是谁,他追她也有一阵子了,是个蛮可爱的男孩子,活泼有趣,充满了热情,追她追得满城风雨。我不能表现自己的心痛,只能笑笑地恭喜她,但当我回到家,心中的痛楚强烈得令我无法承受,像有个千斤重的石头压在我胸口,我无法呼吸,想大叫却叫不出来,眼泪竟然滑了下来,我掩面大哭,多少次,我也看着她为了那个不愿承认的人掩面大哭。

毕业典礼时,我在手机上发现了一封简讯,这是十天前,我掩面大哭时传来的,只是我一直没有去开过机。

叶子的离开,是因为风的追求,还是树的不挽留?



叶子的告白:

高中时,喜欢蒐集叶子,why?因为我觉得,一片叶子要离开它长期依赖的树,好勇敢哩!

高中三年,我和一个男孩子很好,不算男女朋友那种好,是好朋友那种好,但是,在他交第一个女朋友时,我学会了一种不该有的感觉,吃醋,心中的酸,不是一颗柠檬可以比喻,那就像是100颗臭酸的柠檬,酸到不行,他们只在一起两个月,当他们分手,我还得掩饰自己心中强烈的喜悦,但是一个月后,他和另一个女孩子在一起。

我喜欢他,也知道他喜欢我,可是,他为什么总是不追我呢?明明喜欢彼此,为什么不行动?每当他交一个女朋友,我就心痛一次,一次又一次的打击,让我不禁怀疑,是我一厢情愿吗?不爱我,为什么要对我那么好?他对我的好,已经不是普通朋友可以做到。喜欢一个人,好难过,我可以清楚的知道他的喜好,他的习惯,唯独他对我的感觉,我猜不透,难道要我这个女孩子去开口吗?

尽管如此,我还是想在他身边,关心他,陪他,爱他,也许算是一种等待的行为,等待他回来爱我,就像每天晚上等他的电话,等他的简讯,我知道,就算他再忙,也会拨出一些时间给我。这样的等待,陪了我三年,等待是难熬的,是令人想放弃的,但等到的那一刹那,让人第二天会继续等下去。这样的煎熬,这样的痛苦,这样的幸福,这样的矛盾,陪了我三年。

直到三年级下学期,高二一个学弟喜欢上我,每天的热情追求,令我从一开始的拒绝,渐渐愿意挪出我心房的一些位置给他。他像一阵温柔而持久的风,撩拨我这片摇摇欲坠的叶子,到最后,我发现我已经不想只留一点点的位置给这阵风,我知道这阵风,会带我这片伤痕累累的叶子,到更幸福的地方。

于是我离开了树,树只是笑笑,没有挽留。

叶子的离开,是因为风的追求,还是树的不挽留?



风的告白:

因为我喜欢的女孩子叫叶子,因为她有一棵令她依恋的树,所以我要当一阵风,一阵呵护她的风。

第一次看见她,是高二我转来一个月后的事,个子小小的她坐在球场旁,一双眼凝视着同和我在球场的学长,每天的社团时间,她总会坐在那里,一个人,和朋友,她的眼光依旧凝视着他,当他和女孩子打打闹闹,她的眼中有泪,当他看向她,她的眼中有笑。看她成了我的习惯,就像她爱看他。

有一天她没来,我心中没来由的焦虑与不安,我无法解释那种感觉,除了不安,还是不安,而且那学长竟然也不在。我冲去他们教室,躲在外面,看着学长骂她,她的眼泪,他的离去。

第二天,她依旧坐在场边,看着他,我走过去,对她笑一笑,拿了张纸条给她,她先是惊讶的看着我,然后笑笑地收下。

隔天,她拿着纸条出现在我面前,然后离开。

“叶子的心太沉重,风吹不动。”
“不是叶子的心太沉重,是叶子根本就不想离开树。”

我回给她这段话后,她渐渐会和我说话,收我的礼物,接我的电话。

我知道她喜欢的不是我,但我还是有毅力一定要让她喜欢上我,四个月内我告白了不下20次,每一次她都转移话题,但我还是不会放弃,我决定要的人,我就一定会给她追过来!

一直到不知道第几次的告白,出了口,虽然知道她一定会又说到别的事,但还是有一丝丝希望她的答应,没想到她都不说话,“你在干嘛?怎么不说话?”我对着话筒说。

“我在点头。”
“啊?”我不敢相信自己的耳朵。
“我在点头!”她大声叫。

我甩掉电话,匆匆披上一件衣服,上了机车,冲去她们家按门铃,当她开门的那一刹那,紧紧抱住她。

叶子的离开,是因为风的追求,还是树的不挽留?

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